When we’re cut off from our inner knowing, or don’t trust it, we’re not able to access our own life-force with ease.
This can look like being successful but burnt out, or super busy but unfulfilled. It can feel like chronic brain-fog, confusion, and exhaustion.
It’s like hiking up a mountain with a backpack full of rocks. As we learn to trust that knowing within—the voice of life-force, of sexual, creative energy and how it speaks to us in particular—that pack of rocks becomes a jet-pack; we’re fueled by our own innate power, rather than striving against it.
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To be fully human is to feel this longing—not just for a lover, a home, or a purpose, but for something we can’t quite name—because in doing so we feel the distance, and therefore the meeting, between the divine and the human, the infinite and the embodied.
When we repress our longing, we numb ourselves—not just to pain, but to pleasure. We become afraid of wanting too much. We associate longing with lack. We try to fix it, fill it, solve it.
But our longing does not want to be solved. It wants to be felt.
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Joy—not glimpsed or tasted, but worn like a silky skin and savored—feels, to me, naked, exposed. Feels trembly. Feels unhidden. Feels all-in. Feels deeply vulnerable. When I anticipate and imagine cultivating and claiming fully my joy, as a spiritual posture, my heartbeat quickens and my chest heaves up then down, as it sometimes does when in an elevator and the body is still traveling between floors, suspended, despite the gentle thud of arrival.
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