You’re NOT to Old, Too Single, or Too Whatever to Experience Your Sexual Energy

Hello, Friend. 

Do you long to feel more attuned to your intuition?

More confident when it comes to trusting your gut?
More receptive to divine guidance, synchronicities, and oracular insight?

More in touch with your body, and able to treat it with more kindness, love, and care?

If so, you’re not at all alone.

Here’s a text I recently received from a client I’ve been working with for a year. She’s a very successful academic, a consultant, a wife, and a mother of a three-year old. When we started working together she called herself a “control freak,” her marriage was strained, her sex life was exhausted and mercurial, she was sure she needed to leave her career, she was anxious, and she feared she was missing the boat on her true calling.

This is what she shared with me today:

My journey from one year ago has been a journey both inward and through. I now look within for the answers and wisdom: in dreams, in foot pain, in tears, and to the immediate reality I inhabit for clues: my daughter’s laughter and joy in twirling, my reactions to my husband (desirable and not so desirable), the taste of coffee as a reminder of home.

I used to try to avoid going inward and looking to the immediate by overworking, staying too busy, drinking, and planning for the very distant future. Now I look inward, and to the immediate present to understand who I am and where I need to go. I control less. I let the current take me more.

I come back so often to the closing moment of our retreat, with the ashes of our candle being eaten by a fish, and remind myself that we are here dancing and burning and playing and building and destroying as part of a small note in the music of the universe and we will be eaten and dissolve back into the water and so instead of trying to control the ocean (impossible), I float on my little wave and enjoy the bumps.

I can play for hours and hours now with my daughter, not needing to go anywhere else — just floating on the current of our dance. So that has been the biggest change for me: seeing the abundance and the beauty of what is in front of me, and within me. 

As this client learned to drop deep within herself, and to find the profound wisdom inside of her own body, to trust her own intuition, and to cultivate the pulse of her own life-force energy, her marriage transformed and she’s experiencing more emotional and sexual intimacy than ever before. Her mothering has become a source of immense joy, not depletion. And she’s blossomed professionally by bringing forth exactly the vision she feared would garner ridicule from her colleagues.

When we’re cut off from our inner knowing, or don’t trust it, we’re not able to access our own life-force with ease.

This can look like being successful but burnt out, or super busy but unfulfilled. It can feel like chronic brain-fog, confusion, and exhaustion.

It’s like hiking up a mountain with a backpack full of rocks. As we learn to trust that knowing within—the voice of life-force, of sexual, creative energy and how it speaks to us in particular—that pack of rocks becomes a jet-pack; we’re fueled by our own innate power, rather than striving against it.

Self-trust also serves the collective: we need your gifts. We need your authenticity, your quirks, your weirdness, your imperfections, your shine, your muchness, your passions and fascinations and hungers and loves (imagine the worker bee saying to the hive, “but who am I to follow this voice inside telling me to venture five miles, born by my tiny wings, in search of pollen and nectar?”).

As each of us claims our signature essence, we create a more conscious, intentional, healthy world—a world wherein more and more people are supported in doing the same.

How, then, do we do it—create self-trust instead of self-doubt?

It’s about learning to FEEL and LIVE FROM our creative, erotic current. And this looks different for every human.

Self-trust is intimately bound to sexual (erotic) energy because sexuality is creative life-force energy, and life-force energy speaks to us through intuition, inspiration, desire, pain, wonder, ecstasy, and grief.

When we fear or mistrust intuition, or leap to anesthetize discomfort, or are ashamed of our sexuality, or disregard our body, we shrink the channel by which our deepest knowing communicates to us.

Every woman deserves to feel the fullness of her innate power as a generative, creative, vital being. And oh, oh, oh, how our world hungers for and needs the medicine of this reclamation right now.

You are not meant to settle in this lifetime. You are not meant to walk through this life numb to your own astonishing capacity for pleasure, joy, peace, love, and aliveness. You are not meant to feel estranged from your very own sexuality, from your self-trust, from your wholeness.

You are also NOT too old, too fat, too skinny, too single, or too whatever to experience your own life-force fully. I promise you that.